"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our family recently went through a doozy of a moment that was most definitely challenging and controversial. None of us were acting nicely. I would say we were all doing a bang-up job of being our worst selves, actually. (…wonder if there’s an award for that?)
Feelings got hurt. Tempers flared. Disgust and frustration was so thick in the air, you could have scooped it with a shovel. A proud mama moment?
N to the O.
Somewhere in the middle of this ugly, heated exchange, I had a brilliant moment of clarity. If I want our family to be one that loves and laughs and forgives and accepts, then I dang well better lead the way. It’s so simple, but not always easy.
Later that day, as Saylor and I shared some hammock time, we made note of how nice it was; here and now, being together, happy. The episode from before wasn’t totally forgotten, but we’d moved beyond it and were now enjoying a lovely moment of conversation and connection.
It reminded me of a technique I use with my doula clients: ”Stay right here with this one, ride this contraction all the way in and all the way out. Just this one. It’s the only one you need to think about. Just this one.”
It’s the same thing with moments.
The only moment that needs attention so that it’s happy, sweet and easy is the moment that’s in front of me, right now. This moment. Just this one.
No need to worry or think about how I’ll make the next million moments look like this one, or how I can top it. There are no guarantees that I’ll even have the chance.
But I can put all of myself into making this moment the best that it can possibly be.
If I’m lucky enough to be given another moment with my children, and if I choose to make it as beautiful as possible — before I know it, all those little moments pressed together will have given us a lifetime full of moments worth remembering.